The points are just like a parka in miami.

Season Two, Episode Three

This episode of Whose Line kicks off with Weird Newscasters. Greg is a heckler, Wayne is a precocious multi-talented child star, and Ryan is an angry NBA player about to be objected.

Why is he wearing a fez? I have no idea.

Greg acts like a drunken heckler, Wayne acts like himself 20 years younger, and Ryan does what he always does.

Sticks his face in the camera...

...and trashes the studio.

Drew gives everyone 1000 points, but docks 500 from Ryan for not kicking a photographer.
I give Greg 500 points for "Nice Haircut! Lose a bet?" and Ryan 500 for trashing the stage.

Next up is the most politically incorrect game ever, African Chant.

Can't think of a caption. Too
distracted by Wayne's uber-shiny
shirt.

I can't really understand what Drew says when he awards the points, but I'm pretty sure I heard "1000" in there somewhere, so that's what everybody gets.

I give Wayne 500 for his spelling thing.

Then we have scenes from a hat. Colin fails geography.

"Florida. Not to be confused with Miami."

Drew awards nothing, I give Colin 500 points for covering up his mistake.


Moving on, we have Change Emotion, with Greg, Colin, and Ryan as big game hunters lost in a jungle. The giant jungle knife is "rage" and the canteen is....oh crap...."lust". This cannot possibly end well. Especially if someone ends up holding both of these things...

See what I mean?

Ok, let's get far far away from that, shall we? Everybody gets 1000 points.

Last scoring game is Greatest Hits: Songs of the Exterminator.

Wayne doesn't know that termites
have chewed through the piano legs.

No points.

Final tally:
Greg: 3000
Wayne: 2000
Colin: 3000
Ryan: 2500
Total points: 10,500

Colin and Greg tie for first place, but only Greg wins. Colin gets shafted.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-3: 3,034,700

The points are just like sympathy to a Drill Sergeant

Season Two, Episode Two


And I finally get around to doing another post. Of course, no one reads this anyway, so it doesn't really matter a whole lot. Also, I'm going to show off my lack of GIMP skills.

Weird Newscasters is the first game, with Colin as a Gangster in a getaway car, Wayne is in love with the camera man, and Ryan is plugging a hole in a leaky dam.

Yes, having that hat is the only
thing required for being
a gangster.

Naturally, Ryan's attempt to prevent the dam from leaking ends in an epic fail.

See, this is why you don't skimp on construction materials.

Drew awards Larry the Cameraman 1000 points for putting up with Wayne's advances.

I give Ryan 700 points for "To all my friends in Pomona, sorry you have to live there", and also for utterly failing his mission.


The Duet game that comes next features Wayne and Brad singing to Cheryl a writer/mom, in the style of some band called the Gipsy Kings.

I am aware that the lettering on Brad's crown is now backwards.

Brad and Wayne each get 9000 points from Drew.

Next game is Newsflash, with Colin Mochrie being sent to the field...

...underwater, with sharks.

Well, I supposed he could be worse off.

It's just a joke, I don't really hate Spongebob*.

Think about where he could have ended up.

I'm aware most people probably won't get this joke**.

Drew gives no points, but I, as much as I hate puns, will give him 300 points for using the phrase "an act of Cod". No one else could get away with that.

Next up is Party Quirks: Wayne is a tape being rewound and fast-forwarded, Colin is a waiter on a cruise ship during a storm, and Ryan is a hyperactive lap dog looking for a lap.

Needless to say, this image pretty much sums up the game:

What? I had crappily photoshop something into the picture.

No one gets any points, but I give the guy in the picture 500 points. Just because.

The final scoring game is Scenes from a Hat.

"I just want to stand here and
stare at my privates!"

Okay, not gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole. Drew gives no points, but I'll give Colin 700 points; 500 for his "Corpses Bobbing in the Sea" song, and 200 for "I'm Colin Mochrie for Rogaine". Wayne gets 500 points from me for "I'm Mike Tyson for Encyclopedia Britannica!"

Final Tally:
Wayne: 9000
Brad: 9000
Colin: 0
Ryan: 0
Larry The Camera Guy: 1000
Total Points: 19,000

Wayne and Brad tie for the win, but only Wayne gets official credit for it.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-2: 3,024,200

*Although Squidward is way better than Spongebob.
** For those who don't know, this is the Water Temple from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and is one of the most infamously frustrating video game levels ever. There's a good reason it's one of the first entries on the Action Adventure page. (obligatory warning about TvTropes ruining your life goes here).

The points are just like vegetables to a vulture.

Season 2, Episode 1

And Season 2 begins. I'm going to start awarding my own points, because I feel like it. I'm not going to tally them or add them to Drew's total, though. Too much work, and it would skew the results. Which, of course, don't matter.

Season 2 kicks off with a game of Let's Make a Date, with Wayne as the cast of South Park, Colin being tortured in a medieval dungeon, and Ryan as a vulture looking for the ultimate feast. I think we know where this is going.

What did I tell you?

If you missed it the first time, here's a closer look:

Disturbing, isn't it?

Of course, that isn't truly the "ultimate feast".

You knew that this was coming.

Drew awards 1000 points to everyone.
I'm not quite so liberal with handing out free points. I give Colin 500 for managing to hold his arms up the whole time, and 1000 to Ryan for making this face:

Stare at this for too
long and your eyes
will pop out.

The next game is Three Headed Broadway star, bringing us the big love song "Timber" from the musical "Lumberjacks in Love". This sounds suspiciously like the beginning to a certain Monty Python Routine.

"He cuts down trees/
he eats his lunch/
he goes to the lavat'ry!"

Wayne's wife, Ryan's wife, and Colin's wife each get 400 points for putting up with these guys.

I award Colin 1000 points for causing the phrase "Crushing people is it's own reward", and another 1000 for mentioning "Steve". Wayne gets 500 for drowning the trees earlier in the song, and another 500 for bringing a sword.

Props is next up. It really speaks for itself. Such as "Pepto-Bismol on

Or maybe churning butter.

Pictured: Rejected Teletubbies.

Drew awards no points, but I give Chip and Ryan 500 each for referring to Star Wars.

The next game is Stand, Sit, and Lie, where Wayne, Ryan, and Colin are out camping and....oh wait, Drew read the wrong card. They're actually in a tattoo parlor. This cannot end well. Somebody will probably end up with this on their bicep:

"The guy at the shop said that it
means 'Beautiful Warrior' in Chinese!*"

No, no, no, you're supposed to be

doing different things.

Drew awards Wayne, Ryan, and Colin 1,000,000 points each.

I give Drew 100 points for reading the wrong card, and Colin 500 points for starting the game by making fun of Drew for reading the wrong card.

The final scoring game is Greatest Hits: Songs of the Dentist.

"I AIN'T WEARIN' NO BRACES!!"

Drew gives no points.

I give Colin 500 for "Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Paul McCartney: Those are just some the names of guys who can sing!"
Ryan loses 5o0 for "Just say no...vocaine." Ugh.

Final Tally:
Wayne: 1,001,000
Chip: 1,000
Colin: 1,001,000
Ryan: 1,001,000
Wayne's wife: 400
Colin's wife: 400
Ryan's Wife: 400
Total points: 3, 005,200

Wayne, Colin, and Ryan tie with the most points, but Wayne is the official winner.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episode 1: 3,005,200


*This is Japanese, and if my sources are correct, it is the kanji for the word "baka", which means "idiot", "fool", or "stupid". Needless to say, if you ever see someone with tattoo of this, feel free to laugh your head off at them. Unless they'll beat you up. If you ever feel compelled get a tattoo in a foreign language, always double check with somebody who knows the language so stuff like this doesn't happen.

The points are just like a pizza robot in Italy

Season 1, Episode 20


Well, we're at the last episode of season one. Why you've read this far, I don't know.

The season finale kicks off with Weird Newscasters featuring Colin as a guy auditioning for a role in a horror movie, Denny as a Catskills Comedian, and Ryan carelessly throwing lit cigarettes around.
For the record, Colin completely owned this game:

Unfortunately, Frankenstein's Monster's*
cameo in the Blair Witch Project was
left on the cutting room floor.

Being shorter than his cousin,
Grand Duke Kong was forced to
climb a less illustrious monument.

However, I have to give props to Ryan for actually splashing water on himself after setting his shirt (and the entire west coast) on fire.

British Columbia is on fire, and
there's Mummy loose in the studio.

Ryan gets 500,000 points.

Next up is Multiple Personalities. I forget what item goes with which personality, but the three personalities are Liberace, Jimmy Stewart, and Scooby Doo. You know that this is going to be interesting.

Also, Jimmy Stewart sings Opera.

This is where things get complicated. Drew awards Colin "All the points." This is frustratingly vague. I'm assuming that he's not giving Colin all the points ever, as that would just be unfair to everyone else. As such, I will record Colin as having received a number point equal to all the other points awarded in this episode in addition to the points he earns normally. It's annoying when the points matter.

The next game is Fashion Show, featuring Professional Wrestlers.

These are not the professional wrestlers.

Maybe he's the pro wrestler, although
he looks more like he's in a
showstopping musical number.

This is really about as close to
pro wrestling as we're going to get.

Colin and Ryan get 1000 points each.

And now we move on to bring you the World's Worst President. In the words of Drew "You know who doesn't count". If you don't know who "You know who" is, you either live under a rock, or were born after 2006, in which case you're probably too young to even be able to read this.

"From now on, everyone in North
Dakota is named Tim!"

At least he isn't raising taxes.
No points.

Moving on, Props.

Ryan attempts to make the world's largest pizza.

Unfortunately, the cast of Code Geass beat him to it.

They even used a robot.
Does Ryan have a robot?
No, he doesn't.

1000 points to everyone. Except the Pizza Mech. Drew doesn't even know about it.

Next game is Party Quirks: Denny is Greg's Jewish Mother (totally not going to offend anyone), Colin likes putting his hands in people's pockets, and Ryan is various sea life being sucked into a propeller.

This is nothing; he'd do worse.

Colin gets 1000 points.

The final scoring game of season one is a Hoedown. Because there are no good images from the hoedown, you get this instead:

A Moe Anthropomorphism** of
the Death Star. If this isn't the
most random thing you've
seen today, your life is
overly interesting.

No one gets any points for the hoedown anyway.

Final Tally:
Denny: 1000
Greg: 1000
Colin: 507,000 (3000 points awarded normally, + 504,000 for "all the points")
Ryan: 502, 000
Total: 1,011,000

Colin has the most points (he got all of them), but Greg and Ryan share the victory.

Cumulative Total: Season one, all episodes: 1,506,157,972.5


And season one is complete!
I haven't gotten around to adding up the points for the individual players, and I don't know if I actually will. I might. If I do, I'll post it at some point, and if not, I'll go straight to season 2.
I'm probably going to take a break for a bit in between to get school stuff done. Exegesis of Greek is eating me alive, hence the updates being few and far between. Hopefully it'll get better later on.


*I am aware that Frankenstein is the name of the scientist who created the monster, not the monster itself.
** Yes, this page is where I got the picture.

The points are just like a hat to Don King.

Season 1, Episode 19

And the 2nd to last episode of season one begins!

It begins with Wierd Newscasters. Ryan is an astronaut doing a spacewalk when everything goes wrong, Wayne is Don King, and Colin is too emotionally attached to the stories.

The Onion* is so much better.

Brad gets 1000 points for his name, which is Chester Something Something Snapdragon McFisticuff.

The next game is Song Style, with Wayne and Brad singing a Disco Ballad to Sarah, an IT Consultant. If you want to know what an IT Consultant is, watch the episode.

Wayne's shoes are apparently really
awesome. Too bad we can't see them.

No points.

The next game is Sound Effects. On Colin's Wedding Day. On the Titanic. You can probably see where this is going.

"Is that an iceberg? I've never
seen one, so I wouldn't know."

Yes, Colin. Yes it is. No points.

Okay, lets see, what's up next?

Oh, yes. Props. With toilet plungers. (Yes, that's what those are.)

This is what happens when you
cut back on military spending.

Guess what? No points.

Next up is a game of "narrate", otherwise known as Film Noir...in a pizza parlor.

I would never eat here.

Ryan gets 500 points.

The final game is a Telethon for people who suck their thumbs.

This has nothing to do with the
telethon, but my computer is being
stupid and won't let me take a real
screenshot, so you get this instead.

Final Tally:
Brad: 1000
Wayne: 0
Colin: 0
Ryan: 500
Total: 1500

Brad has the most points, but Colin and Ryan win. Somehow.

Cumulative Total: Season 1, Episodes 1-19: 1505146972.5

*It should be obvious that this is a parody/satire site, but due to other examples of human stupidity, I feel compelled to point this out.

The points are just like a razor to Santa Claus

Season One, Episode 18

Note: If this post happens to suck, it's because I was distracted by Mythbusters while I wrote it, so yeah.

We're (or I'm, since no one actually reads this anyway) almost to the end of season 1!!

It kicks off with a game of Questions Only, set at a singles bar.

"So are you actually single, or
just looking for personal validation?"

We also learn that there's apparently a town somewhere in Canada called "Left Noob". No idea if that's true or not, and I'm too lazy to find out. Yes, I know that searching on Google would take all of 5 minutes, but I'm lazy.

Ryan loses 100 points, but Colin gets 100 points for saying "Left Noob".

Next up, Wayne sings a song to Dennis, the Engineer, as a 60's girl group.

At least Dennis seems to be
enjoying himself...

Dennis ought to be happy, Drew awards him 1,500,000,000. Yes, you read that right, fifteen hundred million points. Much more than all the other points Drew has given away combined.

Ok, so next we have Newsflash:

Well, someone's childhood has just been destroyed.

Although I guess there are worse things that could happen. Like seeing Santa dancing at a club.

I guess I spoke too soon.

Well, I guess it could be worse. Santa could turn out to be a shriveled green midget.

Wait, that's Yoda! That's a good thing!

Either way, no one gets any points.
Next up is Hey You Down There! I am never going camping with Colin and Ryan. Ever.

According to Colin, this is
how you put out someone
who's on fire.

Ryan, Colin, and Denny all get 1000 points.

Now we move on to Party Quirks. Wayne is a group of teenage girls at a slumber party, Colin is the summer olympics in 30 seconds, and Ryan is a giraffe getting shot with a tranquilizer dart.

This is a giraffe that has been
shot by a traq dart. Really.

No points. The final scoring game is Scene to Rap: Escaping from a Tsunami.
You can probably guess where this is going.

Has an actual rapper ever
actually used that dance move?

Final Tally:
Wayne: 0
Denny: 1000
Colin: 1100
Ryan: 900
Dennis: 1,500,000,000
Total: 1,500,003,000

The winner is Dennis, obviously, but Drew awards the winner to Ryan and Colin. Which is probably a good thing, because I don't think that Dennis would want to play Helping Hands with Drew.

Cumulative Total: Season 1, Episode 18: 1,505,145,472,5