The points are just like shirts to the Incredible Hulk.

Season 1, Episode 14


As usual, we begin this episode with "Lets make a Date", with Brad as a Latin American Soccer Announcer, Colin as the Incredible Hulk, and Ryan as Ian's daughter having a tantrum.

Brad manages to get himself nearly killed several times.

"HULK PIMP-SLAP!"

"HULK INDIFFERENT TO SUFFERING OF
LATIN AMERICAN SOCCER ANNOUNCER!"

"HULK IS BORED NOW. HULK WILL
NOW GO PLAY TOUHOU*!
THAT WILL SURELY CALM HULK'S NERVES!"

"HULK ABSCONDS WITH RYAN STILES!"

Okay, now that I've used up my allotted capital letters for the day, all that must be said is that everybody gets 1000 points.

Next up is Moving people, which supposedly has something to do with an earthquake of some sort during Ryan and Colin's honeymoon.

"The field goal is good!"

Colin and Ryan each get 1000 points.

Next is Weird Newscasters. Colin has a five second memory, Ian is Ricky Ricardo at his wits end, Ryan is the Wicked Witch of the West, and Colin has a five second memory.

Well, there's Ryan.

I see the resemblance.

Unfortunately, not good enough to get any points.

Moving is Greatest Hits: songs of the Ant Farmer. Both difficult to sing about and to actually get a decent picture of. Which is why you get this:

Really, is "Ant Farmer" even a real job?

Ryan, Colin, and Brad all get 1000 points.

The final scoring game is Party Quirks.

Ian is a gangster being riddled with bullets,

Being riddled with bullets, not having a seizure.

Colin is a bad tempered sperm looking for an egg.

There's really no way I'm putting up a picture of that.

Ryan is a bloodhound trained to sniff out complete idiots, leading to....

You knew this was coming.

Nobody gets points.

Final Tally:
Brad: 2000
Ian: 1000
Colin: 3000
Ryan: 3000
Total: 9000

Wow, not only do Colin and Ryan have the most points, but Drew actually declares them the winners! I guess the points actually do matter this time around.

Cumulative Total: Season 1, Episodes 1-14: 5,026,622.5

* The Touhou games, while a lot of fun and having awesome music, are not good games to play to calm yourself down. They are part of a genre which is known as "Bullet Hell", and for good reason. Think "Space Invaders" or "Galaga" but on steroids. For example this is typical Touhou level, taken from the game "Embodiment of Scarlet Devil". Keep in mind that a) this is only halfway through the game, and b) it is the "normal" difficulty level (read "what you play if you aren't that good"). Yeah, the Incredible Hulk should probably not play it, lest he destroy not only his computer, but the house the computer is in.