Friday, April 30, 2010

The points are just like sympathy to a Drill Sergeant

Season Two, Episode Two

And I finally get around to doing another post. Of course, no one reads this anyway, so it doesn't really matter a whole lot. Also, I'm going to show off my lack of GIMP skills.

Weird Newscasters is the first game, with Colin as a Gangster in a getaway car, Wayne is in love with the camera man, and Ryan is plugging a hole in a leaky dam.

Yes, having that hat is the only
thing required for being
a gangster.

Naturally, Ryan's attempt to prevent the dam from leaking ends in an epic fail.

See, this is why you don't skimp on construction materials.

Drew awards Larry the Cameraman 1000 points for putting up with Wayne's advances.

I give Ryan 700 points for "To all my friends in Pomona, sorry you have to live there", and also for utterly failing his mission.

The Duet game that comes next features Wayne and Brad singing to Cheryl a writer/mom, in the style of some band called the Gipsy Kings.

I am aware that the lettering on Brad's crown is now backwards.

Brad and Wayne each get 9000 points from Drew.

Next game is Newsflash, with Colin Mochrie being sent to the field...

...underwater, with sharks.

Well, I supposed he could be worse off.

It's just a joke, I don't really hate Spongebob*.

Think about where he could have ended up.

I'm aware most people probably won't get this joke**.

Drew gives no points, but I, as much as I hate puns, will give him 300 points for using the phrase "an act of Cod". No one else could get away with that.

Next up is Party Quirks: Wayne is a tape being rewound and fast-forwarded, Colin is a waiter on a cruise ship during a storm, and Ryan is a hyperactive lap dog looking for a lap.

Needless to say, this image pretty much sums up the game:

What? I had crappily photoshop something into the picture.

No one gets any points, but I give the guy in the picture 500 points. Just because.

The final scoring game is Scenes from a Hat.

"I just want to stand here and
stare at my privates!"

Okay, not gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole. Drew gives no points, but I'll give Colin 700 points; 500 for his "Corpses Bobbing in the Sea" song, and 200 for "I'm Colin Mochrie for Rogaine". Wayne gets 500 points from me for "I'm Mike Tyson for Encyclopedia Britannica!"

Final Tally:
Wayne: 9000
Brad: 9000
Colin: 0
Ryan: 0
Larry The Camera Guy: 1000
Total Points: 19,000

Wayne and Brad tie for the win, but only Wayne gets official credit for it.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-2: 3,024,200

*Although Squidward is way better than Spongebob.
** For those who don't know, this is the Water Temple from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and is one of the most infamously frustrating video game levels ever. There's a good reason it's one of the first entries on the Action Adventure page. (obligatory warning about TvTropes ruining your life goes here).

1 comment:

  1. Oh god... NOT THE WATER TEMPLE! :'(

    10,000 points for referencing Zelda, and 500 more for making me feel special by saying most people wouldn't get it. :D