Sunday, August 22, 2010

The points are just like pizza to Yorick.

Season 2, Episode 8

And welcome to yet another completely pointless installment of the blog. If you're reading this, you're probably the only one.

Anyway, the first game of this episode is Let's Make A Date.

Wayne is a strict, overbearing schoolmarm, Colin is an uptight model doing her first erotic photo shoot (uh oh), and Ryan is a frat boy showing off to his buddies in the audience.

And as usual, everything combines in a horrifying way.

The DTD in London receives 1000 points for some reason.

Next up is Film, Tv, and Theater styles, featuring Colin and Josie as boss and secretary staying at Ryan's creepy hotel.

So naturally, someone ends up dead.

Just like in Psycho.

Also Ryan sticks his face in the camera.

It's what he does.

Hugh Hefner receives 10,000,000 points for some reason.

We then go to Newsflash.

Hope you don't have Ophidiophobia.

No points. Only some trauma for people who don't like snakes.

The next game is Weird Newscasters, with Josie as characters from Shakespeare, Wayne on an out of control treadmill, and Ryan as a baseball player who has to hit a home run to win the world series.

Apparently Colin's head is shiny enough to qualify as a skull.

Everyone gets 1000 points.

The final scoring game is a Punk Rock Duet with Josie and Wayne, singing to Kenny.

The Ramones, they ain't.

No points.

Final Tally:
Wayne: 1000
Josie: 1000
Colin: 1000
Ryan: 1000
DTD in London: 1000
Hugh Hefner: 10,000,000
Total: 10,005,000

So Hugh Hefner has the most points. But Wayne wins. Apparently for no other reason than he's Wayne Brady.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-8: 13,056,700

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The points are just like Golf to an amoeba.

Season 2, Episode 7

I told you I'd update again. Not going to bother with awarding my own points because I have to much other stuff to do.

Episode 7 starts off with Let's Make a Date, with Brad as a monster truck pull announcer, Colin as a winner of the Miss World competition, and Ryan turning into King Kong.

So Ryan and Colin act like they usually do.

Drew awards an indistinct number of points to the Television Critics, but because he couldn't be bothered to enunciate, I won't be bothered to figure out the number.

Next up is Superheroes:
*Brad is Prissy Boy, with the power to act like Bakura*
*Ryan is Captain Frisksalot, with the power to avoid Sexual Harassment suits
*Colin is the Bitter-Divorce Kid, with no actual superpower; he just sort of showed up
*Wayne is the Dirty Dancing Kid, you already know what his power is.

Doing the worm.

The real Prissy Boy receives 1000 points as an apology for Drew giving out his email on national tv.

Next up is the Ballad of Leonard the Lawyer.

He can't be an outlaw, he clearly isn't wearing chaps.

No points.

Next is If You Know What I Mean aka The Game that Drives the Censors Nuts: Auto Race edition.

They're checking out Brad's shoes, if you know what I mean...

Still no points.

The final scoring game is Greatest Hits: Golf. I have to admit, I do not understand the point of golf**, so I have no idea why you would make a cd about it. But that's kinda the point of Greatest Hits, so here we go.

I took this picture two weeks ago and
do not remember the context at all.

Final Tally:
Brad: 0
Wayne: 0
Colin: 0
Ryan: 0
TV Critics: Indeterminate
Prissy Boy: 1000
Total: 1000

So...uh...I guess Prissy Boy has the most points. But because he isn't actually the show, Colin and Ryan share the victory.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-7: 3,051,700

*Watch a few of these if you don't get it.
** With the exceptions of Mario Golf and Miniature Golf, of course.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I will update again eventually.

Haven't been able to update because of work schedule. Now am getting off work to go on vacation.
In the mean time, the TvTropes Crowning Moment of Funny Page for Whose Line. Watch the Youtube clips on it or something.
Also, a surfing AT-AT.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The points are just like the American version of Godzilla

Season 2, Episode 6

No, I have not forgotten completely about the blog. I just haven't had time. And still don't, so this post is probably going to stink.

The first game of the episode is Weird Newscasters, with Colin as a guy desperate for attention:

Kinda hard to ignore...

Wayne Brady as a Karate Black Belt beating someone up.

This is not Wayne Brady*

Ryan is a Lifeguard who spots a woman drowning.

..and apparently pulling her under himself.

No one gets any points from Drew.

I give Colin 3oo for "Looking at bald men gives you good luck!" and 500 to the random woman that Ryan dragged out of the audience.

The next game is Song Styles, in which Wayne must sing a Tina Turner song to Jim the Army Recruiter.

Drew gives Jim's army buddies 1000 points.

After that is Scenes from a Hat, featuring such scenes as "Germany's #1 Sitcom", "Things you never hear in the boxing ring", and "inappropriate show and tell items".

Such as a Tapeworm.

Still no points for anyone.
I think Colin should have gotten some for his inexplicable "They have escaaaaaped!" and "I'm a white Canadian! I have a chance!"

Next up is a Newsflash, featuring a ripoff of Godzilla:

At least it's not a guy in a suit.

Still no points awarded.

The final scoring game is 3-Headed Broadway Star, singing the hit love song "Bubbles" from Loch Ness Monster: The Musical.

I have nothing to say.

Still no points for any of the regulars.

Final Tally:
Denny: 0
Wayne: 0
Colin: 0
Ryan: 0
Jim's army buddies: 1000
Total points: 1000

So Jim's army buddies win. But because they aren't on the show, Denny is declared the winner.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-6: 3,050,700

*It's Black Belt from Final Fantasy I

Monday, May 31, 2010

The points are just like hair gel to a nun.

Season Two, Episode Five

Ok, I promised myself I get at least one more post done in May, so here it is. I'm on vacation now, so don't expect it to be any good whatsoever.

First game this time around is Weird Newscasters. Chip is in the middle of a Musical, Wayne is Drew's #1 teenage fan, and Ryan is trying to quell rumors that he's gay.

Although I think Chip is more suspicious in that regard.

But anyway, there really isn't much else of note that happens outside of Wayne getting audience members involved again.

She's just happy to be on tv.

Anyway, Drew gives everyone 1000 points.

I give Colin 700 points for his lead-in: "9 out of 10 Americans agree that out of ten people, one American will always disagree with the other 9." Wayne gets 500 for the audience participation.

Next is Duet, in which Wayne and Chip sing a "Jumpin Jive" song to Connie the receptionist.

I have absolutely no idea what "jive" is supposed to be, apart from the "I speak Jive" scene from Airplane.

Moving on to something I actually understand, we have Scenes from a Hat, featuring such scenes as "Bad Valentine's Day gifts", "Bad Jeopardy Categories", and "Favorite Pranks of Nuns".


No points from Drew here, but I have a some to give out:
500 to Colin for "Yeah, this town's big enough for the two of us"
400 to Ryan for "It's a gun"
500 to Chip for "Things Nobody Knows"

Next game is Whose Line: Gone with the Wind. Nothing like desecrating the classics.

"You look like two pigs wrestling under a blanket."

Colin and Ryan get 1000 points each from Drew.
I give Ryan 500 for doing...whatever that accent is he's trying to do, and deduct 800 from Colin for saying "Two thongs don't make a right".

The final scoring game is Hoedown. Because Hoedown is visually boring, instead you get the cookie monster mugging a wrestler.

I don't need a reason.

No points for this game.

Final Tally:
Chip: 1000
Wayne: 1000
Colin: 2000
Ryan: 2000
Total Points: 6000

Colin and Ryan tie for the win, but Chip wins. Because the points don't matter. Obviously.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-5: 3,049,700

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The points are just like toilet paper to a Canadian mummy

Season Two, Episode Four

And we begin another episode of Whose Line with a game of "Let's Make a Date", with Greg as an exorcist, Colin as a rabid Canadian hockey player, and Ryan as a strip club bouncer.

It quickly devolves into chaos.

Ryan gets 5000 points from Drew.

I give Wayne 500 points for thinking that Greg is an "exerciser" (or "exorcisor", whatever).

Blah blah blah blah "Film Dub", Blah blah blah.

"Blah blah blah!"
"Blah blah blah blah."

Blah blah 1000 points blah Greg, Colin, blah Ryan. Blah blah.

Next up is "Three Headed Broadway Star", featuring the breakout hit "Flea Dip" from the musical, Bob.

No one has any idea what they're singing about.

No one gets any points from Drew.
I give 1000 points to whoever suggested "Bob" as the name of the musical.

"Film, TV, and Theater Styles" is next, with 2 archaeologists opening the tomb of the Mummy. The mummy is Canadian. You know what that means.

I've never seen a Bergman film,
but I'm sure it can't be this good.

Ryan gets 1000 points.

I give 1000 points to everyone for the whole "Bergman film" section, which is hilarious.

The final game is "Greatest Hits: Songs of the Dogwalker", in which Wayne,

...sings a romantic ballad of some sort.


No points from Drew, although I give Colin 1000 points for "In High School, I was belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band, until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school."

Final Tally:
Greg: 1000
Wayne: 0
Colin: 1000
Ryan: 7000
Total Points: 9000

Wayne wins, despite having no points, while Ryan has 7000. The points don't matter, what did you expect?

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-4: 3,043,700

Saturday, May 8, 2010

The points are just like a parka in miami.

Season Two, Episode Three

This episode of Whose Line kicks off with Weird Newscasters. Greg is a heckler, Wayne is a precocious multi-talented child star, and Ryan is an angry NBA player about to be objected.

Why is he wearing a fez? I have no idea.

Greg acts like a drunken heckler, Wayne acts like himself 20 years younger, and Ryan does what he always does.

Sticks his face in the camera...

...and trashes the studio.

Drew gives everyone 1000 points, but docks 500 from Ryan for not kicking a photographer.
I give Greg 500 points for "Nice Haircut! Lose a bet?" and Ryan 500 for trashing the stage.

Next up is the most politically incorrect game ever, African Chant.

Can't think of a caption. Too
distracted by Wayne's uber-shiny

I can't really understand what Drew says when he awards the points, but I'm pretty sure I heard "1000" in there somewhere, so that's what everybody gets.

I give Wayne 500 for his spelling thing.

Then we have scenes from a hat. Colin fails geography.

"Florida. Not to be confused with Miami."

Drew awards nothing, I give Colin 500 points for covering up his mistake.

Moving on, we have Change Emotion, with Greg, Colin, and Ryan as big game hunters lost in a jungle. The giant jungle knife is "rage" and the canteen is....oh crap...."lust". This cannot possibly end well. Especially if someone ends up holding both of these things...

See what I mean?

Ok, let's get far far away from that, shall we? Everybody gets 1000 points.

Last scoring game is Greatest Hits: Songs of the Exterminator.

Wayne doesn't know that termites
have chewed through the piano legs.

No points.

Final tally:
Greg: 3000
Wayne: 2000
Colin: 3000
Ryan: 2500
Total points: 10,500

Colin and Greg tie for first place, but only Greg wins. Colin gets shafted.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-3: 3,034,700

Friday, April 30, 2010

The points are just like sympathy to a Drill Sergeant

Season Two, Episode Two

And I finally get around to doing another post. Of course, no one reads this anyway, so it doesn't really matter a whole lot. Also, I'm going to show off my lack of GIMP skills.

Weird Newscasters is the first game, with Colin as a Gangster in a getaway car, Wayne is in love with the camera man, and Ryan is plugging a hole in a leaky dam.

Yes, having that hat is the only
thing required for being
a gangster.

Naturally, Ryan's attempt to prevent the dam from leaking ends in an epic fail.

See, this is why you don't skimp on construction materials.

Drew awards Larry the Cameraman 1000 points for putting up with Wayne's advances.

I give Ryan 700 points for "To all my friends in Pomona, sorry you have to live there", and also for utterly failing his mission.

The Duet game that comes next features Wayne and Brad singing to Cheryl a writer/mom, in the style of some band called the Gipsy Kings.

I am aware that the lettering on Brad's crown is now backwards.

Brad and Wayne each get 9000 points from Drew.

Next game is Newsflash, with Colin Mochrie being sent to the field...

...underwater, with sharks.

Well, I supposed he could be worse off.

It's just a joke, I don't really hate Spongebob*.

Think about where he could have ended up.

I'm aware most people probably won't get this joke**.

Drew gives no points, but I, as much as I hate puns, will give him 300 points for using the phrase "an act of Cod". No one else could get away with that.

Next up is Party Quirks: Wayne is a tape being rewound and fast-forwarded, Colin is a waiter on a cruise ship during a storm, and Ryan is a hyperactive lap dog looking for a lap.

Needless to say, this image pretty much sums up the game:

What? I had crappily photoshop something into the picture.

No one gets any points, but I give the guy in the picture 500 points. Just because.

The final scoring game is Scenes from a Hat.

"I just want to stand here and
stare at my privates!"

Okay, not gonna touch that one with a ten foot pole. Drew gives no points, but I'll give Colin 700 points; 500 for his "Corpses Bobbing in the Sea" song, and 200 for "I'm Colin Mochrie for Rogaine". Wayne gets 500 points from me for "I'm Mike Tyson for Encyclopedia Britannica!"

Final Tally:
Wayne: 9000
Brad: 9000
Colin: 0
Ryan: 0
Larry The Camera Guy: 1000
Total Points: 19,000

Wayne and Brad tie for the win, but only Wayne gets official credit for it.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-2: 3,024,200

*Although Squidward is way better than Spongebob.
** For those who don't know, this is the Water Temple from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and is one of the most infamously frustrating video game levels ever. There's a good reason it's one of the first entries on the Action Adventure page. (obligatory warning about TvTropes ruining your life goes here).

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The points are just like vegetables to a vulture.

Season 2, Episode 1

And Season 2 begins. I'm going to start awarding my own points, because I feel like it. I'm not going to tally them or add them to Drew's total, though. Too much work, and it would skew the results. Which, of course, don't matter.

Season 2 kicks off with a game of Let's Make a Date, with Wayne as the cast of South Park, Colin being tortured in a medieval dungeon, and Ryan as a vulture looking for the ultimate feast. I think we know where this is going.

What did I tell you?

If you missed it the first time, here's a closer look:
Disturbing, isn't it?

Of course, that isn't truly the "ultimate feast".

You knew that this was coming.

Drew awards 1000 points to everyone.
I'm not quite so liberal with handing out free points. I give Colin 500 for managing to hold his arms up the whole time, and 1000 to Ryan for making this face:

Stare at this for too
long and your eyes
will pop out.

The next game is Three Headed Broadway star, bringing us the big love song "Timber" from the musical "Lumberjacks in Love". This sounds suspiciously like the beginning to a certain Monty Python Routine.

"He cuts down trees/
he eats his lunch/
he goes to the lavat'ry!"

Wayne's wife, Ryan's wife, and Colin's wife each get 400 points for putting up with these guys.

I award Colin 1000 points for causing the phrase "Crushing people is it's own reward", and another 1000 for mentioning "Steve". Wayne gets 500 for drowning the trees earlier in the song, and another 500 for bringing a sword.

Props is next up. It really speaks for itself. Such as "Pepto-Bismol on

Or maybe churning butter.

Pictured: Rejected Teletubbies.

Drew awards no points, but I give Chip and Ryan 500 each for referring to Star Wars.

The next game is Stand, Sit, and Lie, where Wayne, Ryan, and Colin are out camping and....oh wait, Drew read the wrong card. They're actually in a tattoo parlor. This cannot end well. Somebody will probably end up with this on their bicep:

"The guy at the shop said that it
means 'Beautiful Warrior' in Chinese!*"

No, no, no, you're supposed to be
doing different things.

Drew awards Wayne, Ryan, and Colin 1,000,000 points each.

I give Drew 100 points for reading the wrong card, and Colin 500 points for starting the game by making fun of Drew for reading the wrong card.

The final scoring game is Greatest Hits: Songs of the Dentist.


Drew gives no points.

I give Colin 500 for "Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Paul McCartney: Those are just some the names of guys who can sing!"
Ryan loses 5o0 for "Just say no...vocaine." Ugh.

Final Tally:
Wayne: 1,001,000
Chip: 1,000
Colin: 1,001,000
Ryan: 1,001,000
Wayne's wife: 400
Colin's wife: 400
Ryan's Wife: 400
Total points: 3, 005,200

Wayne, Colin, and Ryan tie with the most points, but Wayne is the official winner.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episode 1: 3,005,200

*This is Japanese, and if my sources are correct, it is the kanji for the word "baka", which means "idiot", "fool", or "stupid". Needless to say, if you ever see someone with tattoo of this, feel free to laugh your head off at them. Unless they'll beat you up. If you ever feel compelled get a tattoo in a foreign language, always double check with somebody who knows the language so stuff like this doesn't happen.