The points are just like hair gel to a nun.

Season Two, Episode Five

Ok, I promised myself I get at least one more post done in May, so here it is. I'm on vacation now, so don't expect it to be any good whatsoever.

First game this time around is Weird Newscasters. Chip is in the middle of a Musical, Wayne is Drew's #1 teenage fan, and Ryan is trying to quell rumors that he's gay.

Although I think Chip is more suspicious in that regard.

But anyway, there really isn't much else of note that happens outside of Wayne getting audience members involved again.

She's just happy to be on tv.

Anyway, Drew gives everyone 1000 points.

I give Colin 700 points for his lead-in: "9 out of 10 Americans agree that out of ten people, one American will always disagree with the other 9." Wayne gets 500 for the audience participation.


Next is Duet, in which Wayne and Chip sing a "Jumpin Jive" song to Connie the receptionist.

I have absolutely no idea what "jive" is supposed to be, apart from the "I speak Jive" scene from Airplane.

Moving on to something I actually understand, we have Scenes from a Hat, featuring such scenes as "Bad Valentine's Day gifts", "Bad Jeopardy Categories", and "Favorite Pranks of Nuns".

"BAAAAHHH!!!"

No points from Drew here, but I have a some to give out:
500 to Colin for "Yeah, this town's big enough for the two of us"
400 to Ryan for "It's a gun"
500 to Chip for "Things Nobody Knows"

Next game is Whose Line: Gone with the Wind. Nothing like desecrating the classics.

"You look like two pigs wrestling under a blanket."

Colin and Ryan get 1000 points each from Drew.
I give Ryan 500 for doing...whatever that accent is he's trying to do, and deduct 800 from Colin for saying "Two thongs don't make a right".

The final scoring game is Hoedown. Because Hoedown is visually boring, instead you get the cookie monster mugging a wrestler.

I don't need a reason.

No points for this game.

Final Tally:
Chip: 1000
Wayne: 1000
Colin: 2000
Ryan: 2000
Total Points: 6000

Colin and Ryan tie for the win, but Chip wins. Because the points don't matter. Obviously.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-5: 3,049,700

The points are just like toilet paper to a Canadian mummy

Season Two, Episode Four

And we begin another episode of Whose Line with a game of "Let's Make a Date", with Greg as an exorcist, Colin as a rabid Canadian hockey player, and Ryan as a strip club bouncer.

It quickly devolves into chaos.

Ryan gets 5000 points from Drew.

I give Wayne 500 points for thinking that Greg is an "exerciser" (or "exorcisor", whatever).

Blah blah blah blah "Film Dub", Blah blah blah.
Blah.

"Blah blah blah!"
"Blah blah blah blah."

Blah blah 1000 points blah Greg, Colin, blah Ryan. Blah blah.

Next up is "Three Headed Broadway Star", featuring the breakout hit "Flea Dip" from the musical, Bob.

No one has any idea what they're singing about.

No one gets any points from Drew.
I give 1000 points to whoever suggested "Bob" as the name of the musical.

"Film, TV, and Theater Styles" is next, with 2 archaeologists opening the tomb of the Mummy. The mummy is Canadian. You know what that means.

I've never seen a Bergman film,
but I'm sure it can't be this good.

Ryan gets 1000 points.

I give 1000 points to everyone for the whole "Bergman film" section, which is hilarious.

The final game is "Greatest Hits: Songs of the Dogwalker", in which Wayne,


...sings a romantic ballad of some sort.

Awwwwww.

No points from Drew, although I give Colin 1000 points for "In High School, I was belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band, until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school."

Final Tally:
Greg: 1000
Wayne: 0
Colin: 1000
Ryan: 7000
Total Points: 9000

Wayne wins, despite having no points, while Ryan has 7000. The points don't matter, what did you expect?

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-4: 3,043,700

The points are just like a parka in miami.

Season Two, Episode Three

This episode of Whose Line kicks off with Weird Newscasters. Greg is a heckler, Wayne is a precocious multi-talented child star, and Ryan is an angry NBA player about to be objected.

Why is he wearing a fez? I have no idea.

Greg acts like a drunken heckler, Wayne acts like himself 20 years younger, and Ryan does what he always does.

Sticks his face in the camera...

...and trashes the studio.

Drew gives everyone 1000 points, but docks 500 from Ryan for not kicking a photographer.
I give Greg 500 points for "Nice Haircut! Lose a bet?" and Ryan 500 for trashing the stage.

Next up is the most politically incorrect game ever, African Chant.

Can't think of a caption. Too
distracted by Wayne's uber-shiny
shirt.

I can't really understand what Drew says when he awards the points, but I'm pretty sure I heard "1000" in there somewhere, so that's what everybody gets.

I give Wayne 500 for his spelling thing.

Then we have scenes from a hat. Colin fails geography.

"Florida. Not to be confused with Miami."

Drew awards nothing, I give Colin 500 points for covering up his mistake.


Moving on, we have Change Emotion, with Greg, Colin, and Ryan as big game hunters lost in a jungle. The giant jungle knife is "rage" and the canteen is....oh crap...."lust". This cannot possibly end well. Especially if someone ends up holding both of these things...

See what I mean?

Ok, let's get far far away from that, shall we? Everybody gets 1000 points.

Last scoring game is Greatest Hits: Songs of the Exterminator.

Wayne doesn't know that termites
have chewed through the piano legs.

No points.

Final tally:
Greg: 3000
Wayne: 2000
Colin: 3000
Ryan: 2500
Total points: 10,500

Colin and Greg tie for first place, but only Greg wins. Colin gets shafted.

Cumulative Total: Season 2, Episodes 1-3: 3,034,700