The points are just like an ice hockey rink in Tunisia.

Season 1, Episode 9

And it's time for yet another episode of Whose Line. This episode starts out with a game of Superheroes, and as usual, they are probably the most incompetent and completely-not-useful-at-all-to-have-in-a-crisis people ever. We have:

• Fruit and Vegetable Man (with the power to be more healthy than Beef and Pork Man, but slightly less healthy than the Whole Wheat Kid)
• Ice Hockey Kid (with the power to be like Happy Gilmore, only less annoying)
• Irate Film Director Boy (with the power to...basically be Colin Mochrie during a game of Hollywood Director)
• Playful Licking Puppy Boy (with the power of heart!*)

"Flaming Carrots of St. Sebastian!"

Well, this game certainly gave us what is quite possibly the best exclamation ever. I need to work that into my speech. Everyone gets 100 points except Colin, who gets -1000 for mentioning Pauly Shore.

Moving on, Wayne sings a Luther Vandross song about English Literature to Jennifer.
Hope Wayne knows his Chaucer and Tolstoy.

"I don't call if you call me Chaucer, or maybe Tolstoy!"

Okay, I guess he does. Man, is there anything that Wayne Brady can't do? He gets 1000000 points.

Next up is Weird Newscasters.

Greg is a Gremlin.

Wait, that's not right. They're probably talking about this.
Or maybe this.

You'd think if you were getting gnawed on like that,
you'd be more than slightly annoyed.

That's more like it.

Wayne is an overly emotional preacher at a funeral, and Ryan is being attacked by increasingly ferocious animals. Nobody gets any points though.

Next up is Greatest Hits: Songs of the Lifeguard.

Well, it's no Baywatch theme song, that's for sure.

Laura Hall gets 1000 points.

Closing the scoring portion of the episode is Party Quirks.

Wayne is rapidly aging, Colin is the many roles of Charlton Heston, and Ryan is an eagle struggling to lift heavy things, leading to the inevitable joke:

Yep, there it is.

No points for anyone, though Ryan should consider himself lucky he didn't go into the negatives.

Final Tally:
Greg: 100
Wayne: 1000100
Colin: -1000
Ryan: 100
Laura: 1000
Total points: 1000300

Wayne has more points than anyone else, but Greg wins, because Drew says so.

Cumulative Total: Season 1, Episodes 1-9: 3,006,522.5

*If you don't get it, watch this. When I was a kid I wanted to have the power of fire.