Saturday, January 9, 2010

The points are just like this blog. (S1 E1-4)

If you are familiar with the show "Whose Line Is It Anyway" (the American version, at least), you're probably aware of Drew Carey's catchphrase/hook:
"Welcome to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway', the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like [something inconsequential]."

So being the nerd that I am, I decided that I would find out for myself if the points matter. I'm keeping track of how many points are actually awarded, and who ends up winning. Why? Because I'm bored.

(I'm probably only going to do 1 or 2 episodes at a time, but it's the first entry, and I didn't come up with the idea until now)
Okay, here we go:

Season 1, Episode 1
We start off with a game of "Let's Make a Date". Colin earns 50 points for his role as an excitable dog. And then, we hit a drought.
Sound effects: Colin is an ambulance driver. Despite bringing somebody back from the dead by pulling their heart out and squeezing it (and then running him over again), Drew awards no points.
Hats? No points there either. Greatest Hits? Nope. Apparently the points really don't matter. Drew appears to have forgotten that the points exist.
Oh wait! After Party Quirks, Drew awards Ryan with "all the points I have left". Unfortunately, no points are actually awarded, so we must assume that Drew did not have any points left, and Ryan gets nothing.

Final tally:
Greg: 0
Wayne: 0
Colin: 50
Ryan: 0
Total: 50
According to points, Colin wins, but the official victor is Wayne, who had no points.

Season 1, Episode 2
Okay, maybe this episode will be a bit more high-scoring.
Once again we open with Let's Make A Date, and once again, Colin starts off strong, netting 100 points for thinking that Brad is repulsive.
Moving on to Film/Tv/Theater styles, Ryan picks up 100 points for his dramatic fly fishing.
Wayne and Brad then sing a lovely duet, for which they are awarded absolutely nothing.
Likewise, Weird Newscasters, Moving People, and Scene to Rap all receive nothing. In particular Colin seems to be unaware of what rap is. (I don't know anything about rap either, but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is that Colin's doing isn't it).

Final Tally
Brad: 0
Wayne: 0
Colin: 100
Ryan: 100
Total: 200

Wow, four times as many points as the first episode. Ryan and Colin tie for the win point wise, but only Ryan is awarded an official victory.

Season 1, Episode 3
Guess what game we're starting with? Yup. "Lets Make a Date". Ryan obtains the first points, scoring 1000 (whoo, 5 times all of episode 2) as an Arkansas pig farmer.
Scene to Rap comes on next, with Wayne getting his first points. 1000, tying him with Ryan.
Hats: No points to see here. Move along.
Next up: Weird Newscasters. And Colin promptly blows everyone else out of the water with a million and a half points. Yeah, I think he's got the points nailed down.
Greatest Hits: No points for you.

Final Tally

Well, Colin gets the point win this time, but Ryan and Greg (who got shafted again) take home the official win.

Season 1, Episode 4

Man, the scale on which the points are awarded is really growing. We go from 50, to 100, to 1000, to a million. At this rate, by time I get to season 2, Drew will be handing out a Graham's Number worth of points.

We finally start with something other than the dating game: Weird Newscasters. Which is basically the same game. But with news. That's totally different. Drew is apparently being stingy today (after giving out over a million last time. He must be almost out). Everybody gets half a point. Well, for the first time, nobody has no points. That must be worth something, right?
Next game is Song Styles. Here's where it gets complicated. Drew awards Wayne and Brad 100 points each....and then deducts 125 each, for total of -25 points.
Then we have Animals (rare game): Where Brad get 100 points for acting like an angry chimp.
Props and Moving People get nothing, despite Ryan's moving performance as Dracula in the latter.
Party Quirks gets everybody 30 points (why can't Drew use round numbers like 50, 100, 1000, etc? At least he isn't using fractions)
Scene to Rap gets everyone 0 points.

Final Tally:
Brad: 105.5
Wayne: 5.5
Colin: 30.5
Ryan: 30.5
Total: 172

Brad ends up in the lead, only for Colin to get the win. Oh well, the points don't matter anyway.

Cumulative points, Season 1, episodes 1-4: 1002422.5

Holy Crap, this is a long first post. I think I'll try to cut it down to one or two episodes at once. And maybe get some pictures. This thing is a wall of text.

Oh well, if you're still reading, go do something useful. Instead of wasting your time reading this.

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